The most expensive flops ever are……?

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he'd taken to wearing his dead pets on his head... thankfully his Irish Wolfhound was still alive.....

The magazine Business Insider (no, me neither) has come up with the top 25 biggest financial flop films since 1982. Some interesting entries on there and not quite sure how they’ve worked it out but some seemed to be big hits rather than flops. Anyway have a look and see what you think:

25. Cutthroat Island lost $146m
24. Mars needs Moms lost $147m
23. The Green Lantern lost $149m
22. Terminator Salvation lost $152m
21. Poseidon lost $153m
20. 47 Ronin lost $159m
19. Treasure Planet lost $160m
18. Robin Hood lost $160.8m
17. Terminator 3 lost $161m
16. Wild Wild West $161.6m
15. Final Fantasy lost $162m
14. Jack the Giant Slayer lost $165m
13. Pirates of the Caribbean at Worlds End lost $166m
12. The Golden Compass lost $167m
11. Prince of Persia lost $168m
10. Prince Caspian lost $170m
9. Alexander lost $173m
8. The Lone Ranger lost $174m
7. Tangled lost $177m
6. Battleship lost $182m
5. Superman Returns lost $200m
4. Speed 2 lost $205m
3. The 13th Warrior lost $205.3 m
2. Waterworld lost $208m
1. John Carter lost $221m

we’re not quite sure how they’ve worked this out as some of these we’re sure were hits but what do we know? ( no need to give me 3 guesses on that one – Ed)

Here’s an old review of Johnny Depp’s flop The Lone Ranger we’ve dug out:

 

The Lone Ranger – cert 12

With a quiet dignity the weathered face of the Indian chief emerged from his teepee only to lay eyes on the 8 year old squaw looking up at him. Quietly hesitant the squaw asked the stern faced leader, ‘Big Chief, why was my friend, Pale Moon Rising, named so?’
The chief’s face cracked a smile at the child’s question and answered, ‘When your friend was born, I,as Chief, was handed the baby and left the tent. The first thing I saw was the Moon Rise in the evening sky!’
‘And what about my friend, Silent Thunder?’
‘Again when he was born’, said the Indian Chief, ‘I took the new born child outside and looked across our land and saw many, many miles away a storm yet it was so far away I could not hear it and thus your friend was named so’.
‘But tell me why do you ask me these questions, Two Dogs Shagging?’

And so it is with Disney’s release of The Lone Ranger we find out about the origins of the horsey hero and his sidekick Tonto though unfortunately they have not used the story above but we do find out what Kemosabee means.

Starting in 1933 a young lad in a museum finds an elderly Tonto who relays in flashback to 1869 the story of The Lone Ranger and his desire to avenge the death of his brother assisted by the native American Indian wanting to help for his own reasons.
And off we go on a comedy action adventure book ended by two runaway train set pieces which are the best thing in the film especially the climatic sequence with its ludicrously gravity defying feats.

As ever it’s Depp as the solemn faced Tonto whose film this really is and seems to once again have been given carte blanche with the wardrobe department’s dressing up box. Having channelled Keith Richards for the Pirates of the Caribbean films, Anna Wintour for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and having variously worn giant scissors ( Edward Scissorhands) and appearing to have fallen face down into white paint and then setting off the look by donning a pubic ginger wig for Alice In Wonderland he is now resorting to wearing a dead crow on his head. There’s clearly a thin line between being an actor and being sectioned under the mental health act.

But Depp is the best thing here with many of the film’s best laughs relying on his deadpan delivery of lines. But it all sits a little uneasily at times with, what is for Disney, quite a bloody film with one of the baddie guys, a cannibal cowboy, cutting out hearts with relish (tomato or mango?) whereas another character has a fetish for wearing women’s clothing. It seems Disney has moved on a bit from earlier films like, ‘That Darn Cat!’

This is a colossally budgeted film at an estimated cost of $250m and concedes (or pays homage) to the stock in trade shots of sweeping vistas and stampeding buffalo to occasionally impressive effect.

With Depp starring, Gore Verbinski directing and Jerry Bruckheimer producing the team that bought Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean theme park attraction to life have bought the same ethos to The Lone Ranger and this is an entertaining 90 minutes – unfortunately it goes on for almost 150mins and at two and a half hours it is far too long for its own good. Young children are not going to sit through this despite Depp’s best efforts with his comedy crow.

After Disney’s John Carter lost so much money last year it seems they’re still willing to chuck money at this type of thing and here it clearly has not paid off – executives must be hoping that the purchase of the Star Wars franchise will pay dividends when they release the latest in the saga in 2015 because The Lone Ranger is surely destined to remain a lone film in terms of kick starting any possible franchise.

The Lone Ranger is released August 9th 2013

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