The dressing room rider list…….

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Many AnyGoodFilms fans will be aware of the top A-List film star who kindly assists us with short films on our YouTube channel HERE ………since then we’ve been inundated with enquiries from many of the industry’s top acting talent happy to give an insight to all budding thespians wanting tips to get to the top. In that respect there was only one person who is best suited to write a series of articles sharing his experiences in the acting trade and how he stays as one of the UK’s premier actors. It is, of course, the acting legend Ross Kempp (yes, we too were a bit suspicious about name spelling when we got the e-mail) and here is his advice about balancing the needs of a being cast in a role with the requirements for a dressing room rider list. Over to you Ross…….

The dressing room rider list

It’s always important to make sure you have a good agent to secure top bookings and this couldn’t be more evident when my agent really pulled one out of the bag for me. Unfortunately my agent, Big Dave, has been otherwise engaged selling AA membership outside Asda, but he was with me in spirit when I landed the dream deal.

What was the gig I hear you ask? Well, I’ve only gone and managed to land a gig doing  the self service till voice in Poundland! Apparently the geezer who did the Santa voiceover was on a sabbatical after being seconded as a glass bottom boat tour guide gig and I wish him well.

Before arriving at the studio I was asked if I’d like anything for the green room which is the norm when you’ve hit the big time. I once saw Michaela Strachan secure a Hawaiian pizza before her ‘Really Wild Show’ screen trials so I knew I had to be ballsy if I was going to top that. Anyway, long story short apparently asking for 8 Go-Go girls, a crate of John Player Specials and a litre of Frosty Jacks wasn’t in keeping with Poundland’s company values. Due to artistic differences we parted ways but on the plus side I filled my pockets with teabags, sugar sachets and complementary packets of shortbread after they were foolishly left unguarded.

Only today in Poundland, whilst panic buying ashtrays and cotton buds, I heard the dulcet tones from the till asking me to insert my card and it hit home that the voice should have been me. Standing there holding a handful of mini Iron Bru’s and having a little cry is not a good look. Stay strong kids, the big break will come!’

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